Is it hard to be a boy?

So, I was on my way back from work today and I was thinking about how so many women are still oppressed and suppressed. Then I started thinking about men and I began wondering if in today’s world, it’s actually hard being male too. I mean, I know it’s difficult being a woman…our challenges are endless…and most people I know believe that all men have it way too easy but maybe that isn’t entirely true.

We live in a country where there is a huge hullabaloo made about the girl child and female foeticide and such. I wonder whether parents who would like to have a son can declare their preference openly or whether they will be met with scornful gazes and looked at as people who are gender-biased.

We live in a country where a lot of women look at men they don’t know with a whole lot of suspicion. Thanks to the media, the characters of men have been permanently tarnished and all the male species that exists outside the circle of those we trust are regarded as probable criminals.

Men have a hard time when it comes to deciding their futures too. Although nowadays women who sit at home only are looked at with a lot of shock (take me for example), if there is a man who is sitting at home and not out making money, how tongues wag! It is almost like a weird kind of pressure that’s put on them to get out there as early as possible and make a living. No father wants to give his daughter’s hand to a boy who hasn’t got a steady job…and that’s the bitter truth.

Plus, boys are harassed, molested, abused and raped too, and not enough people give a rat’s tail about it. We only talk about the female population who is undergoing that trauma but hardly ever do we acknowledge that there are men who have gone through the same ordeal and need the same sort of support we talk about for female victims. In this case, as usual the minority is male and his issues have got shadowed by those of the majority…girls.

And what’s up with the thought that a boy who cries is weak? I mean…how sad is that if a boy can’t cry because men are supposed to be able to control their tears. How horrible it must be to grow up with the idea that “crying is for sissys” ingrained into your brain??

Poor men….maybe you don’t have it all that easy after all…

******

Free Write day on Write Tribe…this was my take in fifteen minutes 🙂

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21 comments on “Is it hard to be a boy?

  1. jini says:

    Hmm…Preeti. Your post reminds me of my hubby’s words which he had randomly uttered while i was saying something against my MIL. You and mom have turned me into a Football. Both keep kicking me from the other end. Have some pity upon me!!!!!

    Like

    • Preeti says:

      Some men do end up being caught between their mothers and their wives..but that is just one thing. There are so many other reasons why their lives are not all that easy and we usually don’t pay attention to them..don’t you think?

      Like

  2. Men have it difficult too, esp those that are stuck between the mother and the wife and their non stop squabbles!!

    Like

  3. Thought-provoking post, Preeti. I strongly oppose the patriarchal view that men who cry are week. It’s so passe and u right. You know that there some close female friends whom I call affectionately, Babe or honey. Now, I have to think with recent rape cases and quite refrain myself from approaching a girl to shower genuine compliment. Whenever I see a girl passing, the thought pop up, What if she think I am a potential rapist. Guess, it’s a difficult situation for both men and women.

    Like

  4. Usha Menon says:

    reeti, this is a very thought provoking post. You have correctly analysed issues from the point of view of boys. Life is tough, I would say tougher for them.

    Like

    • Preeti says:

      Thank you so much Usha…
      I don’t know if life is tougher for the males of our species. But, we women just don’t realize that it isn’t all honey and roses for them either..

      Like

  5. shellymona says:

    Glad that you talked about this…a thoughtful post

    Like

  6. Shilpa Garg says:

    Well said. It is not all that easy for men folk too. Men have to prove they are men all the time while actually women don’t have to prove that they are women.So men are under constant pressure to show strength, act like men, earn and provide for the family….

    Like

  7. Suzy says:

    A very thought provoking post. I think we put a lot of pressure on each gender and live in unnecessary fear. If one believes in the theory of collective consciousness then the more we dwell on these issues, the more it actually occurs. But that aside, amazing what your free write brought out. Thanks for taking part in my prompt.

    Like

  8. Thoughtful and thought-provoking post.
    All other things being equal, life is generally easier for men/boys compared to women/girls, or, if you prefer, tougher for women/girls compared to men/boys. Things have improved considerably, and are improving.
    It’s time women spared a thought or two for those sections of society which, irrespective of gender, continue to suffer and who cannot even think of seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I refer to people who suffer because of their caste, economic status, etc..

    Like

    • Preeti says:

      If only we could function without bias. We all have a bias towards someone or something…except maybe for a very small percentage of the general population…
      I agree that it is time we looked at anyone less fortunate than ourselves and try to help them too.
      Glad you enjoyed the read 🙂

      Like

  9. mahabore says:

    Finally someone who puts all that I have felt in quite a while now into a post 🙂 Ever since this entire media hullabaloo (most of it warranted though) about how women are being mistreated in this country by men, I felt that a large population of men were being misjudged by women just because they were men.

    This post directly addresses that concern of mine. Nice post 🙂

    Like

    • Preeti says:

      I totally understand what you are saying. I never used to bother about the men who sat with me in the bus or the autorickshaw drivers or even just random men walking on the road until very recently. Now, I have become (maybe unnecessarily) wary of the possible intentions of a man near me.
      There is probably so much more that can be said about men and how a lot of them have been treated unfairly because of the actions of some, but, the contents of my post were all my mind could come up with in the stipulated fifteen minutes! 🙂
      Glad you liked the post!

      Like

  10. Bhagyashree says:

    Very true. While taking dowry is a crime, there are women who will take advantage of the laws to harass in laws. Sad really.
    My son cries a lot and has to hear- you are a boy how can u cry. 😦

    Like

    • Preeti says:

      Exactly…there are enough women who take undue advantage of men in this world, but somehow, they are ignored!
      Give your son a hug from me and tell him there is absolutely nothing wrong with crying..absolutely nothing!

      Like

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