Of love, loss and peace

Once, you were so desperately in love you were willing to fight even the army of the Gods if they tried to keep you apart. Once there was a happiness in your life that truly knew no bounds. Once you couldn’t wait for night to pass so that you could gaze upon that face again. Once you could spend hours listening to that voice and you truly began to believe it had the soothing quality of angels. Once every touch sent a current down your being. Once you believed that together, life would be a dream. Once…

Now, nearly a decade later, you wake up feeling nothing for the person lying in bed next to you, except perhaps a strong distaste…the kind that no known product made by man can change. Now, you feel lost in a darkness so deep that to you, it seems like even if you spent an entire lifetime trying to claw your way back to the light, you would still not be able to escape it. Now, that face has become one you would give anything to avoid seeing for it never smiles at you. Now, that voice sets your teeth on edge for the only words that are heard are fighting words. Now, that touch makes you recoil, for there exists no true affection in it. Now, the dream that once seemed so certainly the only reality has been lost for a long time and turned into a nightmare from which there seems no awakening. Now…

You wonder how the love just disappeared and on really bad days, you question whether it was ever there at all. You wonder if it was the little things that you stopped doing for each other. If it was just you who changed so much. If there was something you could have done differently or if you would do things the same way if you were given a second chance. You can’t really understand how you have gone from being near inseparable to just two individual entities in space and time with nothing keeping you together except a piece of paper that you once signed so joyously together in front of witnesses to seal your union.

You sit. You hold your head in your hands. You shed tears. You let them fall till all you feel is emptiness. In that emptiness you realize that you have to make a hard decision. One of the most difficult in your life. One that will change everything. But you know that although change is not always easy and can be so hard it can break you, it needs to be made. Change must come. Without this change you will never be able to pick up the pieces and rebuild a stronger you. A better you. A wiser you. So, you make the decision and you know this change…this choice…it’s for the best in the end.

Yes, you are alone now…but at least you’re no longer lonely. You’re by yourself today…but at least you’re finally at peace.

******
Written in response to “Start a New Life” #StartANewLife for housing.com. Please have a look at their video:

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