Whispered Prayer

As I watch my baby sleeping
And stroke her soft hair
I can’t help but say
An earnest whispered prayer –

I pray you know you are so loved,
And are always surrounded by people who care,
That you have friends
Who will always be there.
That in this scary world
You are always safe
That in the arms of loved ones
You can always find solace
That you grow up to be kind
And help those in distress
That you experience heartbreak
And learn the power of forgiveness.
That you always have a roof
To cover your head
A meal at your table
A pillow and bed.
That you are always gentle
With those not as strong
That you have courage
And fight for those wronged
That you know you are beautiful
No matter what anyone says,
That you chase your dreams
And do well – all your days.

There is so much I pray,
For you, now sleeping so peacefully
But what I want most of all,
Is for you a good person to be.

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UBC13: Prayer

I’ve never been able to pray out loud except with my parents and brother during our evening prayers. One of my most embarrassing memories from school is stammering over the “Our Father” when I was asked to lead the rosary one week at my church. It’s a prayer I’ve known since before I could fully appreciate the deep meaning of the words, but I still drew a blank and had to be prompted. Since then, every time someone asks me to get up behind a mic and recite a common prayer, I’ve made sure I’ve had a copy of it in front of me. (For those of you who know me personally, I’m sure you don’t really believe me considering you are aware that I quite enjoy getting up in front of a crowd and talking…but, I promise you, it’s true).

I had pushed that childhood memory to the back of my mind but it came right back when my husband suggested becoming more regular hands-304398_640with our daily prayers and that I should lead. I did what anyone would do…I panicked. Me lead?? Erm… Even though I know in my heart it is a good idea, I still haven’t been able to get around to doing it.

So, I’ve done a lot of thinking and reading and I now realize that I’m uncomfortable, embarrassed and a little scared too, simply because for me prayer is a private conversation with God and not a group chat. Even if the group is just my husband and I. See, when I pray, I talk…like God is my buddy…I don’t usually say the prayers I learnt by heart when I was a child. I simply talk about my day, what I’m afraid of, what I’ve done and how I would like to be better. It’s not a conventional prayer in any sense. I admire people who can not only pray out loud with ease but also include everyone in the room in their prayer as well. As of last night, I still wasn’t one of those people. So, even though my husband suggested it and I know it’s a good plan, I still carry on with my silent prayers, hoping to be able to sit down with my husband and pray out loud in my own style one day. (I really hope that day is today).

What is your take on prayer? Do you deviate from the conventional recitation? Do you think you can pray out loud? Or like me, do you prefer private conversations?

******

/

And the phone rang…

Tring… tring, the phone rang…

She looked at her baby, struggling for breath. She’d give him her own heart if it would save him… but, it wouldn’t.

The phone was still ringing.

She said a silent prayer.  “Hello?”

“Ma’am”, the voice said, “we’ve found a match.”

She swore she had never heard anything more beautiful.

******

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda and it got featured as a WOW post….so YAY!!!

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God and I

When I lived with my parents, Sunday morning equaled Sunday Mass. It was a non-negotiable activity. Today, I’m married and most Saturday evenings are spent resolving to go to Mass the next day with my husband. Let’s just say that the two of us aren’t very good at keeping resolutions… It’s just the getting to the church that is a little difficult for lazy old me…once I’m at church, I’m quite glad I am there. The only part of a Mass that sort of bores me is the sermon. Most weeks, the homily ends up as time for my own personal contemplation. Don’t judge me! I really try to pay attention in the beginning but, if after the first few minutes I haven’t got interested, I tend to let my mind wander onto other things…

Yesterday though, was a little different. The preacher asked a rather interesting question and was able to keep my focus on him till the end of his sermon. His question was : What is your relationship with God?

Growing up, God meant different things to me at different stages.

When I was really young, thanks to the stories of the many miracles cited in the Bible, I used to think think that God was a magician.  I was about five when I first heard the story of Jesus feeding the multitude from my mother. I sat with my eyes wide and my jaw dropping as she narrated how he simply prayed over a few loaves of bread and some small fish and thousands of people ate till they were full. I mean, what would you expect? Of course I thought Jesus was a magician! It is a fantastic story. I loved it…still do. Whenever I hear it in church, I feel like that five year old again.

black-29034_150As I grew older, there were a lot of times when I wondered if God did exist. Then I looked around me. Maybe I didn’t know enough, perhaps I still don’t, but for everything to be as perfect as it is, I am forced to believe that there was some sort of super scientist type higher power who tinkered with genetic make-up at one point of time at least if not constantly. How else do all things have a purpose and place in this crazy chaotic world?

God through my eyes has gone from being an extremely talented magic man (who could turn water into wine) to some abstract strange super scientist (who else would put cockroaches on the planet???) to something much more personal.

Today, the God I believe in understands my faults, listens to me when I need to sound off to someone, keeps my secrets, always forgives, loves unconditionally and accepts me, just the way I am…

So, what is my relationship with God?

Well, the two of us are good friends.