When I lived with my parents, Sunday morning equaled Sunday Mass. It was a non-negotiable activity. Today, I’m married and most Saturday evenings are spent resolving to go to Mass the next day with my husband. Let’s just say that the two of us aren’t very good at keeping resolutions… It’s just the getting to the church that is a little difficult for lazy old me…once I’m at church, I’m quite glad I am there. The only part of a Mass that sort of bores me is the sermon. Most weeks, the homily ends up as time for my own personal contemplation. Don’t judge me! I really try to pay attention in the beginning but, if after the first few minutes I haven’t got interested, I tend to let my mind wander onto other things…
Yesterday though, was a little different. The preacher asked a rather interesting question and was able to keep my focus on him till the end of his sermon. His question was : What is your relationship with God?
Growing up, God meant different things to me at different stages.
When I was really young, thanks to the stories of the many miracles cited in the Bible, I used to think think that God was a magician. I was about five when I first heard the story of Jesus feeding the multitude from my mother. I sat with my eyes wide and my jaw dropping as she narrated how he simply prayed over a few loaves of bread and some small fish and thousands of people ate till they were full. I mean, what would you expect? Of course I thought Jesus was a magician! It is a fantastic story. I loved it…still do. Whenever I hear it in church, I feel like that five year old again.
As I grew older, there were a lot of times when I wondered if God did exist. Then I looked around me. Maybe I didn’t know enough, perhaps I still don’t, but for everything to be as perfect as it is, I am forced to believe that there was some sort of super scientist type higher power who tinkered with genetic make-up at one point of time at least if not constantly. How else do all things have a purpose and place in this crazy chaotic world?
God through my eyes has gone from being an extremely talented magic man (who could turn water into wine) to some abstract strange super scientist (who else would put cockroaches on the planet???) to something much more personal.
Today, the God I believe in understands my faults, listens to me when I need to sound off to someone, keeps my secrets, always forgives, loves unconditionally and accepts me, just the way I am…
So, what is my relationship with God?
Well, the two of us are good friends.