The Innocent

They came out to join her as she waited, hands on her tense shoulders. It’d been ages since she’d been allowed to meet him. Today they’d finally given in to her pleas.

When she saw him coming, she ran to him sobbing, “Dada!!! I miss you so much!” He swallowed hard, holding her tight in arms that were ordinary except for a band of lighter coloured skin on one finger. There once was a ring there; matching one the woman at the door used to wear.

Looking upwards, bitterly he asked, “Why, God, are the innocent always the hardest hit?”

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Written for Indispire – 68 hosted on Indiblogger.in – “Do you have questions for God?” #QuestionsForGod

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Lucky?

Friendship. There must be thousands of posts written about the subject and you’ve probably read a fair share of them. I know I have. I’ve even written a few posts myself. Why do I return to it then? Because when prompted to describe a time when someone or something gave me the strength to get up and move on, I can only think of events involving my friends. Sure, my family has always stood by me and offered me the best advice whenever I’ve needed it and I love them for it. But, I moved away from home when I began college. I was all of eighteen and when I didn’t have my Mama’s shoulder to cry on because she was physically in another city, it’s only because I had friends who filled that void that I survived.

I remember having contracted jaundice during the semester exams one year and I was not exactly willing to go to the hospital for a blood test (I can be a very fussy patient…preferring to just sleep till I feel better). My closest friend (to whom I have already dedicated a post which you can read here) looked after me the best she could, even feeding me when I agreed to eat while I was at the paying guest accommodation. When things became so bad and I had no choice but to be admitted, before my father could reach the hospital, she was there, helping me with my clothes and trying to make me comfortable. She showed up the next morning, before the final exam to check on me while I lay on my hospital bed hooked up to an I.V. drip! She even washed the dirty clothes I had left back in our room since I couldn’t go back there myself.

I remember going through a very rough patch personally a little later. It was shortly before I took the CA final exams for the first time and we were supposed to be attending classes regularly. Since I was crying all night and waking up with eyes so swollen I could barely see, I ended up missing a lot of those sessions. But, not only did she keep me abreast of what was happening, she actually kept me together. She would let me cry endlessly to her and on more than one occasion, I’ve seen her crying with me too.

I remember while I failed those dreaded CA final exams (which I had a feeling would happen since I had a lot on my mind), she had passed. She didn’t make me feel like the total loser I believed I was and instead just blamed it on bad luck. I know it must have been really hard, because she must have been dying to celebrate, but she waited till she thought I could handle it before she let the fireworks fly. When I flunked the second time (I am not that dull…but if you have written the CA final exams, you would know that sometimes it is just the most difficult thing to clear!), another one of my friends cried when he saw how distressed I was that I failed again.

9f441eaa571dd536e61a019382978708She is my family. But, I have other friends too…like the boy who cried with me. Those who have taken me out to have dinner with them everyday just to make sure that I always slept with a full tummy when I was alone. Friends who have come home to check on me during the office lunch break when I have fallen sick. I even have some friends who include me in their daily prayers at night!

I don’t generally consider myself lucky. I mean, I can’t remember the last time I won a prize when playing even something as silly as tambola at a party and even my palms are so lined that anyone with the slightest knowledge of palmistry has told me that I am going to have a very complicated life…so, no. I am probably not lucky in the conventional sense. But, I have the fortune of a small but simply wonderful group of friends and that probably makes me one of the luckiest people on the planet. It’s a good life. What more could I ask for?

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Written in response to in this together #together for housing.com. Their ideas seem to have tugged at my heartstrings and am sure if you check out their website, they will tug on yours too.

Of love, loss and peace

Once, you were so desperately in love you were willing to fight even the army of the Gods if they tried to keep you apart. Once there was a happiness in your life that truly knew no bounds. Once you couldn’t wait for night to pass so that you could gaze upon that face again. Once you could spend hours listening to that voice and you truly began to believe it had the soothing quality of angels. Once every touch sent a current down your being. Once you believed that together, life would be a dream. Once…

Now, nearly a decade later, you wake up feeling nothing for the person lying in bed next to you, except perhaps a strong distaste…the kind that no known product made by man can change. Now, you feel lost in a darkness so deep that to you, it seems like even if you spent an entire lifetime trying to claw your way back to the light, you would still not be able to escape it. Now, that face has become one you would give anything to avoid seeing for it never smiles at you. Now, that voice sets your teeth on edge for the only words that are heard are fighting words. Now, that touch makes you recoil, for there exists no true affection in it. Now, the dream that once seemed so certainly the only reality has been lost for a long time and turned into a nightmare from which there seems no awakening. Now…

You wonder how the love just disappeared and on really bad days, you question whether it was ever there at all. You wonder if it was the little things that you stopped doing for each other. If it was just you who changed so much. If there was something you could have done differently or if you would do things the same way if you were given a second chance. You can’t really understand how you have gone from being near inseparable to just two individual entities in space and time with nothing keeping you together except a piece of paper that you once signed so joyously together in front of witnesses to seal your union.

You sit. You hold your head in your hands. You shed tears. You let them fall till all you feel is emptiness. In that emptiness you realize that you have to make a hard decision. One of the most difficult in your life. One that will change everything. But you know that although change is not always easy and can be so hard it can break you, it needs to be made. Change must come. Without this change you will never be able to pick up the pieces and rebuild a stronger you. A better you. A wiser you. So, you make the decision and you know this change…this choice…it’s for the best in the end.

Yes, you are alone now…but at least you’re no longer lonely. You’re by yourself today…but at least you’re finally at peace.

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Written in response to “Start a New Life” #StartANewLife for housing.com. Please have a look at their video:

I’m blank because…

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I’m weird because…

I can eat yogurt for breakfast, lunch and dinner and even use it as a spread on bread if need be
I never have popcorn left for the second half of a movie no matter how big the tub
at a party I prefer spending time playing with the children than sitting with the grownups
I read and re-read books
I can’t imagine switching from paperbacks to e-books although the environmental advantages have occurred to me
I wake up in a cold sweat only when I have nightmares about cockroaches
I get sick when I go on a vegetarian diet
I am afraid of surfaces, like walls and ceilings, that aren’t smooth
I laugh when I’m afraid
I decided to get married to the husband after meeting him once and talking to him for less than half an hour!
my favourite kind of movie or book is one that can bring me to tears
I cannot sleep, even if it’s the hottest night of the year, without a blanket
I sometimes feel like the weighing machine is my biggest enemy
even though my cupboard is full, I never have anything to wear

I’m a bad friend because…

I suck at keeping in touch
I prefer to text/whatsapp than talk on the phone
I stop texting randomly…in the middle of conversations sometimes
I drop out of get-togethers at the last-minute
I don’t remember important information – like birthdays/anniversaries and someone usually has to remind me

I’m a good friend because…

I’m loyal…like true Leo loyal
I remember other important stuff… 😉
I’m a good Aunt Agony and keeper of secrets
the happiness and joy of my friends gives me a real high

I’m sad because…

I’ve still not got used to living so far away from home
I miss my little niece all the time 😦
I’ve got no willpower to stick to a fitness regime
I don’t read enough even though I have so much time on hand

I’m happy because…

I’m writing/blogging more
my little blog is not so little anymore
my article appeared on a forum which I don’t own!
I wrote a story that is going to be published!!
I married a man with a natural talent for music
I have friends who make me smile like everything is perfect in the world

I’m excited for…

this new beginning in Bahrain we were fortunate to get
the outcome of my first bread baking experience in my new kitchen!
the holidays around the world that are no longer just distant dreams
tomorrow…can’t wait for it to get here!

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Image courtesy: http://www.flicker,com

This was one of the prompts that Corinne put up to help us post daily. I was a little hesitant to do it at first, because it seemed a little like an “About me” post. But then, as you can see, I went ahead and did it anyway. Thanks Little Miss Momma; was a brilliant idea!