Emily: Chapter Sixteen

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THIRTY-FOUR

Emily was beside herself with excitement when she rushed out of the toilet to shake a still sleeping Ethan out of bed to give him the news. “We’re pregnant E! We’re pregnant!!”

Ethan looked at her with blurry irritated eyes before understanding and a lopsided grin appeared on his face. He pulled her into an embrace and kissed her tenderly. He was happier than he thought he would be and in all sincerity said, “That’s the kind of news I needed to hear at the start of an extremely hectic morning Emmy. It’s what will keep me going through the day. But,” he added, “Perhaps you should see Dr. Rao and make sure that you are pregnant before we spread the word?”

Emily who had been scrolling through her contacts to find her mother’s number, which she had forgotten for some reason at that moment, paused and looked up at Ethan. “Hmm…I suppose that makes sense. I’ll make an appointment right away!”

Emily was lying on the doctor’s table wondering why the air conditioner in Dr. Rao’s consultation room was always set at a temperature so low it caused the hair on her body to stand up when the nurse came in to get the equipment ready.

The nurse noticed her goose bumps and smiled, “Don’t be nervous Ma’am. All is well. The doctor is running late because he is finishing an unscheduled emergency caesarean section. He’ll be with you in a few minutes.”

Emily nodded and thought about how she could possibly be that woman in the operation theatre a few months from then. Hopefully, there would be no emergency surgery and she would be waiting for the baby to crown. She squirmed in excitement, a grin spreading across her face.

“Ah! Mrs. Mendonca, how late did you say you were?” asked Dr. Rao, coming straight to the point as he drew the screen around her bed, probably more out of habit than out of the need for privacy since there was only one bed in the room.

“About ten days. I’m usually very regular. I’ve never been this late before.”

“Let’s have a look-see then.” He said, running the ultrasound transducer right below Emily’s belly searching for the amniotic sac. “There. Can you see it?” Dr. Rao was pointing at a tiny blob on the screen.

Emily looked at him and said, “That? That’s the baby? You’re sure, aren’t you, doctor?”

Dr. Rao laughed. “Well, not the baby per se, it’s the amniotic sac. The fetus is a little too tiny to make out just yet, plus, it’s not like it has tiny arms and legs for you to see. On this old machine, you can’t even hear its heartbeat yet. But,” he finished hastily as Emily began to look worried, “to answer your more important question, yes, I’m sure you’re about six weeks along.”

Emily felt tears well up. She was crying again. This journey of pregnancy which she seemed to be only beginning at last, had already left her in tears so many times. At least these weren’t tears of frustration and disappointment anymore.

As he wrote out a prescription for standard supplements, Dr. Rao added, “You’ll be given no end of advice from all the well-meaning women you know who have had children before you. Other than refraining from alcohol consumption, smoking and drugs there is nothing you must or cannot do at this time. Some women work in the fields till they go into labour and usually if they’re not teenagers, these are the women who have the easiest deliveries. Pregnancy is not a disease. It is part of routine life and unless you are advised by me, don’t give up on anything that you’ve been doing so far. Also, don’t suddenly shock your body and do something absolutely new, no matter what you read on the internet. I hate to say it but, the internet is full of idiots leading idiots. Don’t take anything you read about medical issues on the internet seriously. Come straight to me if you have any fears or doubts and take these tablets. I’ll see you back here in a few days for your next appointment.”

As Emily was getting up to go, Dr. Rao turned to her and said, “One more thing Mrs. Mendonca. Congratulations!”

Emily felt her eyes become wet again and was walking on air when she met Ethan outside the clinic. “Thirty-four weeks till baby time E.”

He looked at Emily, the woman who was going to be the mother of his child and in excitement repeated, “Thirty-four weeks…” before bursting into loud laughter.

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Post 20!

Catch up on the previous chapters here.

Emily: Chapter Fifteen

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TWO TINY LINES

Emily studied her ovulation calendar and for the first time since those wonderful months before life happened, Ethan and Emily lay entwined in each other more than their usual four times a month. As much as she enjoyed their love-making, Emily had hoped that she would get pregnant right away and eleven months later, when her period was still stubbornly right on time, she decided to see a doctor to do some tests.

Nervously, Emily handed over the results.

“Well, there’s good news, Mr. and Mrs. Mendonca, there’s nothing physiologically wrong with either of you.”

Emily released Ethan’s hand, which she had held in a vice-like grip, and breathed a sigh of relief. “Then why haven’t we got pregnant yet, Dr. Rao? We’ve been trying for almost a year now.”

“These things can sometimes take a lot of time. Some women get pregnant without even wanting to while others have to try harder for much longer. Since you are both fine medically, there are no pills I can prescribe to speed this along. If you want to get pregnant naturally, I cannot advise you to do anything other than to continue trying. Don’t worry. You’ll be pregnant sooner or later if you keep at it. Till that happens, why don’t you two enjoy the process?” At that, he winked at Ethan.

Emily, distraught and angry, almost punched her doctor in the face. Ethan hastily steered her away towards the door mumbling his thanks for the doctor’s time.

On their drive home from the clinic that evening, Emily was very quiet. Ethan tried to defuse the tension by saying, “Why don’t we take a break Em, let’s give it a rest and then try again later?”

Emily looked at him and flatly said, “No.”

“No?”

“No, Ethan. If we take a break it will only take so long before we fall back into our old routines. If we take a break, we might as well stop trying and to stop trying for however short or long a period of time would be like we have given up on having a baby. I don’t want to give up. Do you?” Emily looked at Ethan and then continued without waiting for an answer, “I want to keep trying. We have to keep trying. Even the doctor said to keep going. How can you say we should stop? Don’t say stop just yet…” She ended her monologue, almost pleading with Ethan.

Ethan didn’t say anything. He wished that he could tell Emily that there was a tiny part of him that was glad that she hadn’t got pregnant yet because he was beginning to make headway in his research, but he knew that that would break her heart so swallowed the argument.

Other than that tiny selfish part of him, the rest of him wholeheartedly felt that they were under too much pressure to have a child and not only because conventionally the ‘time was right’ for them to take on that role. He no longer felt as good as he was sure sex ought to feel. Having to get aroused and perform sexually on pre-determined dates every month was not working for him. However, he couldn’t tell Emily that either.

Their families – extended and immediate – were not helping the matter. They had begun discussing openly how they hadn’t grown in number although they had been married for more than a few years. He had been able to ignore it most of the time. On occasion, he had noticed that Emily became very uncomfortable when anyone, especially his mother, mentioned babies around her. She saw it as an indirect hint that Mummy wanted to be a grandmother and Emily was failing in her most important duty as her daughter-in-law – producing a child. She also always looked longingly at the babies that their cousins seemed to be birthing with no difficulty at all.

Ethan really didn’t know how to respond to Emily. When she prodded him for a response, he jerked his head in unwilling agreement.

So, the two of them kept at it for almost another year before Emily in tears as she got her period again, said in a low defeated voice that she no longer believed that they were meant to get pregnant.

Ethan thought it was all for the best, even though he felt bad for Emily, and concentrated his extra time on his research project.

As sometimes is the case, it was then, about six months after the two of them had decided to stop trying that Emily, busy at work, suddenly realized that she was late by almost ten days. In the evening, with hands shaking, she stopped by a pharmacy and bought herself a home pregnancy test. The instructions said to wait for morning and Emily could barely sleep that night. She didn’t want to tell Ethan and get him excited until she had some hope that the two of them were pregnant. So, she bore what she hoped was a happy burden alone and restlessly passed the night.

In the morning, in her locked bathroom, she waited anxiously for the test results and when the instructed two minutes were up, with her heart racing, she checked them and collapsed on the floor.

She was pregnant.

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Emily is on her way to motherhood at last. Not every woman’s dream, but it was most certainly hers. Catch up on the earlier chapters here.

Post 19 of  the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

Restoring Faith

I was looking at the housing.com website and watching the Look Up – Housing video and their ideas of housing being the right of everybody – filling the world with positivity and optimism resonated with me. (You can check out the video here). I suppose it has something to do with the fact that there is a baby on the way (and who might be here a lot soon than I anticipated) but, I seem to have a lot of questions that I desperately wish I had answers to. From the silly, ‘will my child ever see a tiger or will poachers truly wipe them out?’ or ‘will my baby really have to listen to music without soul?’, to the more serious, ‘will he or she be able to cycle in the street and not leave me constantly worrying about an accident?’ or ‘will he or she be able to go to school and come back home without some sick sick person taking away his or her innocence?’ As any mother-to-be must wonder at some point, I have looked at the world around me and questioned if it makes sense to bring a child into the world when things are as miserable as they are. While on one side we celebrate India’s wins at the cricket world cup, on the other we hang our heads in shame as we come to terms with the existence of men who can so casually justify their heinous crimes. Whenever I think we as a country can sink no lower and the only way is up, something happens and I realize that it’s only getting worse. But, it’s not just at home…it’s everywhere in the world. Is anyone, anywhere safe anymore? There are days when the future seems all too bleak…

But then I only need to recall an evening I recently spent with my four-year old niece…

That day, she wanted to play “sports day” and got out her little motor bike, Speedy. “Come Teyti! (which is what she calls me) Let’s have a race!“, she said. Thinking that it could be fun and since everyone had told me the more active I am while pregnant the better, I agreed and like any normal adult, I made sure that I followed her slowly while she turned on “super speed” mode and crossed the finish line first. My mother put an imaginary medal round her neck and she was thrilled.

We had repeated the race a couple of times and she had won a whole lot of imaginary medals when suddenly she stopped and looked at me very sadly. “You haven’t won any medals no, Teyti?” I shook my head and said, “No. You’re just too fast for me!” That’s when she said, “Come, I’ll hold your hand so you can go faster and get a gold medal this time. I have so many already.”

I looked at her and all at once, my faith in our failing world was restored. I remember seeing an episode of Greys Anatomy where one of the characters said something like, “This is how the world changes, good people raising their babies right…” Perhaps it isn’t such a bad idea to believe that and be optimistic about tomorrow…

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UBC3: We need to talk

She said they needed to talk. Dreading what it could mean he rushed home.

She was on the couch; flushed, her eyes wide. Worried, he asked her what had happened.

“We need to talk…”

She held out a stick with two lines on it. He laughed. She smiled.

He was going to be a father.

The Test (google images)

Positive! (Google images)

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